A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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He--Hey guys

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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