What did the snake say to the rat?

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops