Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Laugh.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops