Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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your face is kinda funny

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops