A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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You.

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Good to see you today!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Sarah Palin

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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