How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

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anti-joke.com

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Equal rights!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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