if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops