a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops