- Anti Joke

whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

wanna hear a better joke? casey.

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

What do 69 and carpets have in common ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Nothing

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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