A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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