(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Your dads dead. lol

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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The queen having a shit

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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