Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

think twice or at least think

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops