Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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what is not funny? This joke.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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