What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Skrillex.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Type better antijokes above

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops