Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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