Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Religion.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops