What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

Knock Knock there's a doorbell

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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