What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

well use a tissue!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

thumb_up thumb_down -30

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops