A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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PENIS

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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sadf

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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Women can vote? WTF

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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