A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Vagina.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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what are three short words? i a am

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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I once did something.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops