What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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Anyone can post anything.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Women's rights

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops