Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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who do we all like george goodburn

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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