knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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