I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops