A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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Guess what? The Game.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

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j

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops