What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops