Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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The Princess is in another castle

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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