Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops