What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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Why so serious? Your brother died.

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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