A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

What does two plus two equal? 4

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

This sentence is a lie.

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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