What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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