whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops