Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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