Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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69

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Long joke Your such a downey

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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