What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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How you know when dislextic

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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