what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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Penis.

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Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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