Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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A seal walks into a club.

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops