Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -113

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

womens sports...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I went to the store and I fell

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops