A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Wumbo

you.

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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