What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Wumbo

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you.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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You.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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