What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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