What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why? Because racecar.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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you.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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