What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Religion

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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America Votes

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Swag.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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The Colts this year.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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