Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Obama 2012

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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A man walks around a bar.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops