How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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Your dads dead. lol

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Youre mom is so dead...

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops