Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are too im bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

thumb_up thumb_down -12

YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops