What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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12

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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