Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Chikin nuggets

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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pedophile

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Women's Rights

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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