Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

thumb_up thumb_down -55

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

thumb_up thumb_down +62

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops