What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Religion

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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