What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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