Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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feminists.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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